I am not even a single bit honest on my blog. I rant about every single thing in the world but the things that matter to me the most. I try to create an illusion that I have a life and purpose and everything is under control, but the reality is otherwise. What would you call a person who creates an artificial world around himself to escape the truth? I would call him dead man walking. And then I see other blogs in which people express their true feelings without thinking about other people reading it. And then I wonder how do they do it? and why in the world I can’t do the same. Why I am living a dual life. And then starts a series of thoughts that just drives me crazy and all I want to do in the end is just finish it. Finish this artificial world and embrace the reality. But I can’t commit myself to it. Thing is, I am not living alone. There are other people who live in my Matrix, who love my artificial world, and admire me, get inspired by me, and look up to me. And I look at them and I think they dont deserve it. So what if my life is a mess. It’s just me. A tiny dot in this universe. What difference does it make anyway. I can’t take the responsibility of messing up other people’s lives. And so starts another series of thoughts and I decide to make that illusion even bigger, more beautiful, perfect.
So next time if you met me or saw my blog or any other aspect of my life and thought that this guy is the man, you just fell for my illusion. I am just another looser pretending to be a normal guy.
That’s me. Being honest, on my blog.
Umar!
I stumbled across your blog when my brother sent me the link. I know how you feel. Too many expectations from people that matter to us, that we hide our own true feelings, etc. All I can say is, it’s a trap. Live for yourself. I have dissapointed myself by not doing that enough and I don’t like to see it happening to the good people I know.
On another note, you really must be a loser, since you can’t spell loser.
But seriously, I think you’re really cool!
spelling corrected!! ooopss… what a loser!
told ya… its an illusion
hmm, True. SO often we create an illusion around us, and almost Force ourselves to believe it is a Reality. Oh well. The sad part is, that some people do it Subconsciously, and ALOT of people do it knowingly. We need to Start accepting the REality around us, and continue to Breathe in it, instead of creating these false images inside us, forcing us to emanate Empty Smiles… Na?
yes yes sana… true true…. na?
asa!
ive just started writing things for myself n myself only, before that i never ever used words. so i dont know how this blog thing is gonna turn out for me, but at this stage im just venting it off. cause, at the moment its helping me. though it must be too boring for others to read.
may be later when Ill be more fluent, ill think of the reader. cause in that too, theres a great chance of creativity, and as long as your being creative, your cool! your blessed!
it doesn matter your making things up i.e., fiction, or your writing an honest monolog, it should just have its own rhythm and style.
and u have it, and its inspiring. cheers!
oops sorry i thought i was being anonymous flick!
so clumsy of me. hmmm!
I cannot live artificially, it hurts me!
About writing the truth, yes u have to. You should know how to express yourself.
And I wish you could truly live for yourself. When others give a damn to your feelings, give a damn to their feelings. Live and love. Only this way you can teach them that if they get hurt so do others.
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