untitled
I am not even a single bit honest on my blog. I rant about every single thing in the world but the things that matter to me the most. I try to create an illusion that I have a life and purpose and everything is under control, but the reality is otherwise. What would you call a person who creates an artificial world around himself to escape the truth? I would call him dead man walking. And then I see other blogs in which people express their true feelings without thinking about other people reading it. And then I wonder how do they do it? and why in the world I can’t do the same. Why I am living a dual life. And then starts a series of thoughts that just drives me crazy and all I want to do in the end is just finish it. Finish this artificial world and embrace the reality. But I can’t commit myself to it. Thing is, I am not living alone. There are other people who live in my Matrix, who love my artificial world, and admire me, get inspired by me, and look up to me. And I look at them and I think they dont deserve it. So what if my life is a mess. It’s just me. A tiny dot in this universe. What difference does it make anyway. I can’t take the responsibility of messing up other people’s lives. And so starts another series of thoughts and I decide to make that illusion even bigger, more beautiful, perfect.
So next time if you met me or saw my blog or any other aspect of my life and thought that this guy is the man, you just fell for my illusion. I am just another looser pretending to be a normal guy.
That’s me. Being honest, on my blog.