not too long ago

I picked her up and we went to a quiet place for lunch. I could use any excuse to spend some time with her. I rarely get a chance to meet her so every minute is precious. Every second is cherishable. Every moment is memorable. If I could ask for one super power, it would be the power to stop the time.

She was looking cute. Adorable. Sweet. Gorgeous. Beauitful. I was unable to take my eyes off her. I tried to stop blinking my eyes so that she would never get out of my sight, but with every blink she looked more pretty. I figured it’s best to let the chemistry do it’s job and try not to control everything.

I wanted to touch her but she was too pure.

We were talking. And now her voice was doing the magic. I fell in love with every word she said. With every expression she made. With every gesture she gave. The twinkle in her lovely eyes. The shyness on her innocent face. The way she looked at me. The way she looked down. The way she listened to me. I could spend a life time loving just one of her attributes.

I can’t remember whatever we discussed. It doesn’t really matter. We probably made some jokes. Laughed a little. Shared some moments. Mingled our thoughts. Remembered the past. Planned the future. Enjoyed the present. And realized it was perfect. She was perfect. Flawless.

But the damn food was all eaten. Why did we order so little? Why did we eat so fast? Can’t we just stay a little longer? I was just starting to enjoy all this. Enjoy her. Enjoy my time. Enjoy my life. Enjoy the world. Nothing lasts forever, I guess.

She had to go back. My cinderella. Her time was over. I coulnd’t steal any more precious moments. I had to let her go. We had to part. We were meant to go our separate ways. That’s how it was meant to be. Ah, fate. I dropped her back, same place where I picked her up. It had only been a while but I lived a lifetime in it. I was born again when she came in, and part of me died when I let her go. I tried my best to stop her, hold on to her forever. I fought with the entire world, I fought against the nature, to keep her with myself for the rest of the times. Usually when I fight so hard I win. But this time I wasn’t even close. I thought I was going to make it. I thought I’ll be able to control my fate, to change my fate according to my desires. All the time I felt I was close. Close to winning. Winning her. It seemed as if I would make one last move and end it all. One perfect step and she would be mine. Together. Forever. Happily ever after. Funny how your mind plays tricks with you.

I was wrong. I lost. I was fighting against huge waves. And my struggle made no difference. The tides carried me far away from her. As much as I tried to get near her, I only got further and further away. And how blind I was to think I was close. How stupid I was to underestimate the strength of the storm against me. The waves were harsh. I got wounded. Down the core. But I refused to let go. Until I realized the waves might harm her as well. If I brought her into this cyclon it would hurt her too. It would cause her pain. And I couldn’t take that. I wanted to bring her comfort. Not pain. So I set her free. And I was left alone in the middle of the ocean. But now I wasn’t fighting. Cuz I was fighting to get out the storm and be with her, but the only way to be with her was to pull her in. So I stopped trying. I let myself go where ever the waves took me. Now I am lost in the middle of nowhere. Lost and wounded. The very same waves in which I spent my life turned into a fierce storm and destroyed everything.

Now I am left with memories. Memories of that day when we met, and the days before that. I still cherish everything she said to me, and everything she never said.

I didn’t touch her. She touched my soul.